Weird and Wonderful
by ElZacharie
Summary: Jane Shepard gets a look at life through different eyes and is forced to choose between her best friend and her lover. M for later lemon
1. Chapter 1

Weird and Wonderful

Just as the firefight came to a finish, a Cerberus operative shot a dart at me, hitting my neck. I hissed with pain at the sting, biting my lower lip. Garrus killed the man before he was able to run away, and then headed back towards Kaidan and I.

"Are you all right, Shepard?" Garrus called.

"What the hell is that?" Kaidan asked incredulously, picking the dart up to examine it. "This looks like nothing I've ever seen before."

I shrugged, rubbing my neck. "Get it to Mordin. I'm sure it's nothing, but better safe than sorry."

As the doors hissed closed behind me, a long shriek of pain escaped my throat and I fell to my knees. My neck felt like it was being corroded by acid, running quickly through my veins.

"EDI…" I managed to choke out, tears blurring my vision. "I need Chakwas and M-M-Mordin. Now…"

EDI did not respond, but in a matter of minutes Chakwas and Mordin rushed through the door, followed by two nurses, lugging medical equipment behind them. The nurses lifted me up as I thrashed in their arms, laying me out on the hard as rock bed and tied my wrists and ankles to it.

As the nurses began setting up the equipment and Chakwas tried to get off my armor, Mordin lifted the dart from his pocket and laid it out in his hand, frowning.

"Professor?" Chakwas called, stroking Shepard's hair as she began to lose consciousness, shivering. "What is that?"

"Don't know. Possibly poison. Fast. May be fatal. Must run tests," he replied solemnly, leaving the room without another word. Chakwas looked back down at me, finally going limp with exhaustion. The nurses began to hook me into the machine, their faces like stone.

"Get better, Shepard," was the last thing I heard before losing consciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

(Chakwas)

It had been two weeks since anybody but Mordin and I had seen the commander. The nurses had been barred out from her quarters to tend to the rest of the crew in my absence. Rumors were floating around that Shepard had been poisoned. But when I would come down from my post, I would tell them flatly that there was no poison whatsoever. The commander was getting better from her illness, and she would be back on her feet in no time.

But, to be honest, I had no idea what had been in the dart. All I knew was that the commander had changed. Her skin, bones, eyes… It was just as Mordin had said; somehow, Cerberus had been able to use the dart to turn Shepard into—

"Doctor Chakwas!"

Nearly dropping the plate of food I had been carrying, I turned to see Major Alenko scurrying up to my side, a look of worry in his eyes. He was probably took the worst hit of the entire crew, having been in a relationship with the commander. Poor kid.

"You scared me, Kaidan! What is it you need?"

"I was wondering if you could let me see Shepard, or at least tell me how she is," he requested sheepishly.

My smile dropped. "I'm sorry, major. Shepard is in no state to be seeing anybody, much less get out of bed and speak. Her vocal cords are in a bad shape, and the constant screaming isn't doing her any good."

"Is that why you're feeding the commander turian food, doctor?"

My face went pale and, flustered, I ran off without a word.

* * *

"Good! Leg bones seem to be in place. No more problems. Progressing rapidly. Slight tweak in facial features and you will be well." Mordin took a breath. "May go blind. Temporarily, of course, but blind nonetheless."

"That's not very reassuring, Mordin," I stated, trying to fight the urge to cover my new privates as Mordin probed them with his eyes. The salarian shrugged and went back to my desk, where he fiddled with all sorts of concoctions. He said he was looking into a way to reverse the change, but from the looks of it, all efforts were doomed.

"Oh shit, oh shit!" I panicked as my vision started to blur. "I think it's happening!"

Mordin looked up from his papers and chuckled. "Eyes watering. Nothing to worry about. Yet."

"It's okay Commander," Chakwas said as she walked into the room. My mouth watered at the sight of food in her hands. "You're not going to go blind; he's just messing with you. You went blind before you were able to stay conscious." Chakwas handed over the plate, hands on my hips as I wobbled my way back to the bed.

I began to fiddle with the fork, trying to get the hang of having three fingers. Suddenly, a pain pervaded my nose and I let out a shriek, jumping. The doctor grabbed the plate before it could fall to the ground, taking it from my lap as I flailed in pain.

Mordin looked up, hrumph'd, and looked back down at his work. I held my nose as it shifted, tears welling in my eyes. Doctor Chakwas cooed in what had once been my ear to let go of my nose so she can see what the problem was. After some time, I finally let go of my nose, wiping away the tears in my eyes.

"Looks like her nose has finished, professor," Chakwas called to Mordin. He said nothing, only scribbled something down on another piece of paper. "Now, commander, you need to eat," she told me in a stern tone of a voice that reminded me of my mother.

I took the plate back and picked up the fork, shakily shoveling food into my mouth. The doctor cheered me on, congratulating me on every bite I was able to take without letting any fall off the fork or my mouth.

As I swallowed down the last of the food, I turned to the doctor and asked, "Do you know when I'll be able to get back to my crew?"

I was answered with only silence. The doctors exchanged looks and nodded sadly.

"We don't think you should leave your quarters until we are able to find a way to get you back to normal," Chakwas explained. "We're afraid of how the crew will react to… you know."

"No! I don't," I replied crisply. "Do go on."

The doctor sighed as began to pout like a child. A moment later, Mordin was kneeling before me—

I never noticed how tired he looked before— holding my hand in his. "You are stressed. We will let you out in a few days. Just need to perfect walking," he told me, speaking slowly.

"Really?" I asked shakily. Mordin nodded.

"Promise," he declared. "Now, stand. Have surprise."

Chakwas helped me to my feet as Mordin scurried back to the desk, rummaging through some things before pulling out a crumpled box with a bow tie on top. Chakwas walked me over to Mordin, smiling like a proud mother.

I swallowed my nerves and opened the box, pulling out a large piece of clothing. My eyes widened and I let a toothy smile plaster my face. "You got me new clothes…?"

"And new armor," Chakwas added cheerfully. "Can't send you out into a firefight unprotected, can we?"

"Now," Mordin began. "Should begin exercises. Long way to go. Cannot waste time."


	3. Chapter 3

(Kaidan)

The entire ship gathered around the elevator, eagerly awaiting the return of the commander. Many voices whispered around me, but their excitement could not rub off on me. After that confrontation with Chakwas a week ago, I was afraid of what I would see.

The elevator doors open and all time stopped.

The doctors stepped out with a long, lean figure.

A gasp rippled through the crowd.

The figure backed up into the elevator, a look of horror on its face, burned into my mind as the doors slid shut.

No. It can't be.

What the hell did they do to you, Commander?

(Shepard)

I burst through the doors of my quarters, sobbing. I tore my clothes off and ran into the shower, not bothering to lock it behind me. The shower turned on automatically, burning my skin— if you could even call it that anymore— as I sunk to the floor. I let my sobbing escalate into a wail, not caring who heard me.

I should have known my crew would not have reacted well. I should have realized how stupid I was being. They all thought I was a mutant now— a freak. I could never face them again, even if I did return to normal.

The water turned itself off and cold air turned on, so I got up from the floor and dragged myself silently towards my bed. It took all my strength to climb under the covers, sniffling. As I snuggled in, head between to pillows, a heavy body seated itself on the other side.

"Hey, Shepard," a distorted voice began. I did not give my visitor the satisfaction of my acknowledgement.

"I understand you're upset— hell, so would I in your position. But the commander I know wouldn't run away because her feelings were hurt. She would tough it out, order the respect of her crew, and go about everything as if there was nothing wrong. Your crew is willing to follow you to death and back— and have proved so on multiple occasions. So get out from under that pillow and fight like Commander Shepard would."

"But I'm a—" I snapped back, interrupted by my visitor slipping under the covers and squeezing the breath out of me.

"A what?" the voice whispered in my ear, the owner obvious to me now. "A turian?"


	4. Chapter 4

I wrote this one yesterday for Shepard's birthday

* * *

EDI made a humming noise, eyebrows knit in frustration.

"Something wrong, EDI?" I posed, not taking my eyes off the screens before me.

"Yes, Jeff. I am thinking," she said, making the humming noise again.

"About what?"

"Shepard's reaction to the crew's reaction," she stated. "The shock should have been expected— the sudden change of species would be enough to startle the crew into silence; but she would have known that we would have been supportive of her, either way. Our attitude to her would be the same. We would not refer to her differently or speak behind her back. So the question is: why would she run away?"

That was a good question. "Maybe it was—"

"One moment, Jeff," EDI interrupted, fingers flying across the screens. "Yes, Garrus?"

Garrus's voice sounded on the bridge, explaining the situation he was currently in.

"I see. Would you like me to gather the crew again?"

Garrus agreed that would be a good idea and cut communications. EDI announced to the ship that Shepard would be coming down, for good. I wouldn't see it until we all stood before the elevator, anxious to see the commander, but everyone was smiling, even Javik. That's when I remembered what today was.

Maybe she _had_ overreacted.

(Shepard)

Garrus and I stood in the elevator, his hand on my shoulder as I breathed deeply, my beady eyes stuck on the doors.

"You're doing great, commander," Garrus whispered. I let a slight smile slip onto my face, but it disappeared quickly as the doors opened. The entire crew had gathered once more for my entrance, all of them with sincere smiles and arms full of gifts. Everyone was there— or so I thought.

"Welcome back, Commander, and happy birthday!" the crew cried in chorus, breaking out into horrible singing as Garrus pushed me into the crowd. A grin split my face and I joined in, feeling welcome among my friends. I had forgotten it was my birthday today— I never actually celebrated it, but the change was… nice.

Garrus stepped into the fray as the doors closed behind him, helping hand out wine glasses that Traynor had brought for the group. James brought some of his own special wine, making sure that I got most of it. Tali and Liara presented a giant birthday cake in the shape of me as a human, which was quickly overrun and turned into something that vaguely represented a turian.

We spent hours there, drinking and eating and opening presents, before the brunt of us passed out on the floor. Garrus, just as drunk as I was, held me close to his body as he led me back to my quarters, arm around my waist.

In the quiet of the elevator, surrounded by presents (mostly sex toys) that were crammed in by the crewmembers able to survive the onslaught of beer, Garrus wrapped his other arm around my waist, purring. I felt his erection poke my side, stirring something primal inside me.

We began undressing each other quickly and franticly, tripping over the rush of arms and legs and other unmentionable things. When the doors opened, Garrus picked me up by the waist just as I picked up two of the sex toys, staggering into the room with a howl of victory.

Garrus threw me onto the bed and climbed on top of me, pinning my legs to the bed. Plucking the sex toys from my hands, he examined them with a raised eyebrow plate.

"A dildo gag and a vibrator, Shepard?" Garrus slurs, giggling as he takes them out of their packages. I grin toothily, not understanding a word he just said.

The gag is placed in my mouth first, which I suck happily on, like a baby with a pacifier, and then the vibrator. Garrus turns me over onto my stomach with a growl, eyes twinkling with lust. He inserts himself inside my ass quickly and roughly, which elicits a small, involuntary moan.

After that, it's all a blur. The vibrator was turned on and Garrus began to thrust quickly, motivated by my screams and moans of pleasure. I sucked the dildo gag so hard it actually began to deflate in my mouth, furthered when I began biting it with my razor sharp teeth.

The vibrator slides out of me and buzzes on the bed, turning itself off as I let out a feral scream and grip the sheets of the bed, blue-colored cum sprayed across the bed. Moments after, Garrus lets out another howl as he release himself inside me before we both fall on top of each other, breathing heavily.

With heavy bones, we climb under the sheets, Garrus holding me closely to his warm body. I never wanted this moment to end.


End file.
